For years I have been closed minded, out of fear of judgement. I allowed a small window to let things in, but they were always filtered by what was safe. A good friend called me out on that. In my fear of judgement I was judgmental. In my fear, I was intolerant. Anger grew in me. And I was becoming someone I didn’t like.
This dear friend changed my life. She risked our friendship. She exposed that darkness and forced me to look at myself. What I found was chronic stress and anxiety. It was affecting my body, mind, spirit and emotion. I was having issues with blood pressure, heart things, I lost my faith and I was losing myself in self pity, sadness and depression. By the grace of God, literally, I got up and began the battle of my life. I became attentive and receptive.
I started noticing what affected me negatively: negative people, negative situations, like political rantings on facebook, the news, negative self perceptions, negative self talk, lies I believed, like “I’m not good enough” and “If you don’t think you can, don’t try!” Key word: NEGATIVE.
Fast forward to today. I have learned to embrace alone time. That’s when I come face to face with my God and myself.
I have put myself first. Not selfishly, but have made my well being a priority.
YOU CAN’T GIVE WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE.
I choose to let go of that which brings me down: biased news, petty conversation, judgmental or controlling people, negative self talk, and self limiting behaviors.
I surround myself with music, color, quality people, healthy foods, fresh air and sunshine, even if it’s behind the clouds. Through these choices I give myself gratitude and joy. I have eliminated the negativity. I choose to allow myself high frequency vibrations that give me vitality.
Vitality, joy and gratitude. These are my gifts to give.